Taylor Swift Did Not Dump Calvin Harris Over A Handjob

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Handjobs are underrated, and we do not mean in the ‘pleasure level’ sense. We mean in the sense that they are the staple of every relationship (excluding lesbian relationships, obviously) – the good old-fashioned classic that will never go out fashion and which is usually the last go when the relationship starts to go south.

It was therefore not that difficult to imagine Taylor Swift getting hurt after her boyfriend Calvin Harris was seen leaving a massage place that offered ‘happy endings’. Today, however, we are learning that this was not the reason she dumped Calvin.

Moreover, it seems that Calvin is on the offensive, and a litigious offensive at that. He tweeted about the whole Handjobgate thing, alluding that character defamation lawsuits are about to ensue.

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