Johnny Depp Defeats El Chupacabra In Japan

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Pirates of the Caribbean star Johnny Depp failed to attend a news conference for his latest movie Mortdecai, in Tokyo, Japan on Tuesday. The 51-year-old actor said that he had been ill but claimed that wasn’t the cause for his absence. He jokingly explained that the reasons for not showing up at the conference was a chupacabra attack. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the peculiar being, a chupacabra is a legendary creature who drinks the blood of livestock and is believed to inhabit parts of the Americas.

“I was attacked yesterday morning by a very rarely seen or experienced animal called ‘chupacabra.’ I fought with it for hours. They’re very persistent, very mean. And I’m pretty sure it came into my suitcase. I threw him off the 23rd floor. So we’ll never see him again. Thank you for understanding.”

Reporters loved his excuse and asked the eccentric actor what Mortdecai would do if he was in the room. Of course, Depp immediately knew how the title character of his new movie would react.

“He would probably say something like ‘How do you do?’. My name is Charlie Mortdecai and I’ve come here to take as much money from you as I possibly can. and jewelry, and art, and stuff.'”

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